The Fog

Kim was lost, lost in the maze of his mind, wandering on through his thoughts, looking for answers that seemed afar off. In the past, he would lose his way every once in a while. But recently, it became too frequent for his liking. It was neither his cup of tea nor his plate of cookies. Oh, cookies. Freshly home-baked cookies would’ve been pleasant right then. But now he stood amid his thoughts, a Jack with no beanstalk. Utterly distraught.

He pondered over his current state of life. His mind wobbled, staggered, tripped, and fell. Its thoughts appeared to be coined and kneaded together by the hands and skill of a master drunkard. He struggled to come up with answers to the myriad of questions that flooded his mind. They made no sense to him.

While the questions bothered him, his agony was that they questioned his current career path. He believed he was stellar at his craft. Kim had done well so far if his bachelor of commerce degree and accounting certificates were anything to go on. He had launched his career, building it up through toil and effort. Hidden behind the walls of an academic institution, he had spent his days and nights behind a computer screen, studying relentlessly. He had followed the motivational speaker’s blueprint – he had been inspired before he expired.

“But you didn’t spend all those nights studying, did you?” his mind pesters. He chose to forget the many nights he lacked adequate sleep, singing to the stars and the moon as he kissed his dear bottles. Probably the most he had used the lessons on fermentation from his Biology classes. His Biology teacher would have been proud, he chuckled to himself.

Was this the life he wanted to live? Was this career his best shot at life? Was he making the right choices, or would he live to regret this? The questions insisted.

A year back, he would have dismissed these questions with ease. Kim had it all together then. He had a clear picture of the path he was to take. He could see his career path far along. But now, a fog clouded his clear view – a thick mental fog that wiped away his confidence in the future. The fog clouded his vision. He couldn’t see his own feet let alone figure out his next step. However, he had to keep moving. He needed to.

But in which direction? Which direction was he to take? And more importantly, to which destination? He wanted to be happy. Happy with the career decision he was to make. Happy with the destination he would eventually arrive. Happy at the destination, once he arrives.

But for now, the fog lingers on. And still, Kim chooses to walk on. Chooses to only focus on the next step. The step that he can take, albeit hobbling or shuffling. He waits for the clearing of the fog as he moves, however slow until he gets to see the path ahead. His heart is heavy, and his mind unsettled. But he forges onwards. He has to.

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